WELL, the phone fell off the wall, and I’m NOT SURE what kind of metaphor that is, but I’ll put it back up, and not analyze it too much.  I apologize for the lack of postings this week… I just started a new job.  I’ll post this weekend, for sure.  Thanks for reading me, and also for those of you who have written me and told me you’ve missed my postings.  Fan mail already!See you soon.

Gadgets have always fascinated me. I love to go to the housewares store and look at all the various and assorted contraptions you can buy to perform everyday tasks with greater ease. The fact that you can buy one of several inventions specifically to peel an apple, for instance, is fascinating to me. I don’t peel apples, but that’s not the point. Though I (very) rarely cook, I have two drawers in my kitchen devoted to such labor saving devices. My enthrallment with gadgets doesn’t stop at the kitchen, not by a long shot. I am famous among my friends for my use and attraction to such things. In a world where gadgets such as cell phones and Palm devices are becoming more and more commonplace, I was an early adapter. I got my first cell phone in 1989. It was huge, but I could make calls from wherever I was, as long as I had a three pound battery with me, and didn’t want to talk for more than 10 minutes. As phones have gotten smaller, my fascination with them has grown. I always want the ‘latest and greatest’. I currently covet a new Nokia model 8890. Another neato, gotta get gadget (which my father ALSO has, lucky fellow) is the Titanium Powerbook that just came out. These devices are literally SEXY to me. They are among the best examples of functional design I’ve seen in a long time. My current bout of deep introspection has caused me to probe why I desire such things. I think its because I want to feel special. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school growing up, and my social skills developed really late (like, after college). One way I stood out was with my clothing (even though they were making fun of me, I loved to be called Polo Boy. Talk about low self-esteem!), and with the things I had. Because of my dysgraphia, I carried a silent, battery-operated typewriter to class with me. In 1985, such a thing kind of made me stand out. Even if it ostracized me, I was being paid attention to, and this was good. After the Relationship From Hell (more on that in future columns) I began to make friends, and I realized that these folks liked me, just because I was Tim. This is ironic, because I made these friends in Dallas, a city with a reputation of being quite shallow, especially in the gay community. Many of the people I met back then are still my friends. I talked to one on the phone last night for over an hour. I don’t have to impress these folks. I just have to be myself. Even though I know this, I still find myself falling into those habits. It’s hard being human, but all and all, I think I’m pretty good one. I’m glad I’ve been able to find people in my life who agree with me. All that being said, I’d still like one of those new Nokias, and that new Kenneth Cole store they are building near my house? The staff will most likely know me by name. I can’t help it. I’m human.

I recently did something radical: I hung the phone on my desk up on the wall. I don’t know why I’ve never thought of it, because my desk faces a wall that has a whiteboard on it. I jot down ideas and thoughts on it and it helps keep me organized. Immediately in front of my keyboard was a two-line phone. Not just any phone, mind you… but a big ‘ol honking phone that was almost as big as my keyboard. I’m not sure, but I think you can call yourself on the damn thing. It’s really advanced. ANYWAY, the other day, I was sitting at my desk, daydreaming in a way that only an ADD person can, and I got inspired. I thought “WOW… I could hang the phone on the wall, and have ALL this extra desk space!” I was inspired, and I began my quest. I went to the garage and (eventually) found two screws that I thought would work, and the electric screwdriver. It took some work, because the wall that I hung the phone on is apparently bulletproof (first sign of attack, I’m in my office, thankyouverymuch). The phone finally got put up, and it’s WONDERFUL where it is. I find I enjoy my desk more, because it seems less cluttered. The phone is more accessible, too. I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. That stupid phone got me thinking that if I could improve SO much with such a little thing, than maybe I could make, for instance, ONE small change in my own habits and make a huge difference elsewhere. I have many faults and weaknesses, but I sometimes think that such problems are insurmountable and impossible. Because of this, I usually don’t make any change at all, and end up stuck and mired in my bad habits. This is where you, the readers, come in. During my extended introspection, I decided I was going to begin writing and posting my writing here. That small amount of should help me in other areas, as well. Improvement is never easy, but as somebody much wiser than me said, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” I guess this is my step. Please walk with me. My next post will be Wednesday at the latest. I hope you are enjoying reading this as much I like to write it! Let me know what you think (good or bad) by sending me email. Thanks.